


wish i were heather

by transperalta



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amy Santiago Loves Jake Peralta, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Jake is oblivious, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, amy has a crush, i dont know how to tag this, i dont know whether to continue this, its very short im sorry i have writers block, please just read my other fics theyre so much better than this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24760390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transperalta/pseuds/transperalta
Summary: why can't real life be like a fairytale?where the prince loves the princess, and they live happily ever after.that's all i want.title from the song 'heather' by conan gray.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	wish i were heather

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this didn't start off as a b99 fic but i decided i wanted it to be so here we are. this is very short and i basically just wanted to get over my writer's block so i could continue my main fics. so enjoy this while i work on those i guess! 
> 
> also i could technically continue this but i have no plans so if you want me to then i'll try but it's not very good so maybe just read my others lmao.
> 
> okay you can start reading now <3

when we started this, i thought it would run its course like an indie coming-of-age movie.

like the stories we read as preteens, staying up all night hiding under the covers with a flashlight and imagining beautiful scenes in our heads.

imagining we could be like them.

the characters, the heroes, the ones with the happy endings. because everyone wants a happy ending, right?

i keep telling myself that as i watch you from across the precinct. maybe if i say it enough, i'll start to believe it. maybe i'll be convinced.

but it's hard.

i think i still had this fantasy in my head. this delusion, that the impossible could, one day, become possible.

maybe i shouldn't have read all those fairytales as a kid. i should have just gone to sleep.

because now, as i see you with her, i can't help but think about how you've found your happy ending. but that's just it. it's yours, not mine.

no, i'm left on the sidelines to watch your perfect storyline continue, as it feels like mine has been run off the tracks.

i watch as you put your arm around her waist, and gently guide her body closer to yours. she looks up at you and smiles, and you smile back.

for a second, i think i see your smile falter, but i convince myself it's just my bad eyesight and the distance, because why would your smile falter? you're in love with her.

you step into the elevator, and i hear her giggle at one of your stupid jokes. you know, before you met her, you used to tell those jokes to me. 

of course, you stopped when she came into your life. you stopped goofing around, you stopped making up little songs about anything and everything. you stopped being yourself. not just around her, but around us. around me.

it hurts to see the person you love change. 

so i try not to.

i try not to see the small things, like how you wore a tie to work a few weeks ago, or how you turned down an offer to watch die hard over a beer with rosa; claiming you had "seen it so many times by now" so why would you need to watch it again? 

yeah, i try ignoring it. 

i focus on the paperwork piling up on my desk, or i go to more seminars. i even tried one of your dumb toys from your desk. the one you threw out because you were "too mature for silly things like that" now. 

but it's getting harder to ignore. because you're no longer yourself.

the elevator dings again, and i look up to see you jog back into the bullpen, grabbing a stray toy from beside your computer. i can't help but be curious.

"woah, you came all the way back up for that?" 

your eyes make contact with mine, and for a second i see an emotion i can't quite pinpoint. sadness, maybe. regret.

"yup! you know how it is, the girlfriend thinks i should get rid of them. no big deal!"

a slight chuckle escapes your lips. god, you should know better by now. i'll always know when you're lying. 

rosa chimes in from across the room.

"so your girlfriend's telling you to grow up? what the hell man, not cool."

shrugging your shoulders, you simply play it off, and head towards the elevator again. 

"not healthy!"

she shouts after you. i can only sit and watch. 

once you're gone, i'm left thinking. about how much i miss you. and yes, i see you every day, and i work cases with you, and i sit across from you, but that's not what i mean and you know it. i miss you. the you that laughs at inappropriate times, and makes impossible bets you can never win, and can always seem to make me laugh no matter what. 

do you miss you?


End file.
